Conscious Love: Enlightened Relationships and Soulful Sex 11 Love Experts Reveal Their Secrets by unknow

Author:unknow
Language: eng
Format: azw3
Publisher: BlissLifePress.com
Published: 2016-05-11T04:00:00+00:00

Staying True to Your Own Heart and Moving on from love that didn’t work out

Kristina Shumilova

“Love doesn’t offer guarantee, and it isn’t always fair, or gentle. And that’s not going to change. Break-ups shake things up.

And to move on from love that didn’t work out what needs to change is the way we go about it. Instead of making it a passive isolating process, take an opportunity to make it an empowering one. It is a process that’s natural, and allows you to reconnect with who you truly are. It doesn’t break you, it builds you up.”

–Kristina Shumilova

About six years ago, I was really starting to question my life. Everything seemed fine on the surface, but underneath, I was unbearably restless.

Our 5th anniversary was coming up, and my husband and I continued drifting apart, becoming more like friends or even roommates who didn’t even like spending time together anymore. I didn’t talk to people about this because I was supposed to be happy. It took a long time to become aware of how much time I was spending throwing ‘nobody understands me’ pity parties. I was stuck in circular logic. The same thoughts were always running around in my mind. “Maybe this is how life is when you grow up,” I thought. I didn’t like that idea, but I wanted to know why my heart was breaking over and over again.

My husband and I used to be happy, and I didn’t want anyone to know that now we weren’t. I began to judge myself, and was constantly getting irritated with him. I saw things from my parents’ relationship that were being recreated in my own marriage, and that angered me even more.

There was a moment when my husband asked me a question about where I saw myself in five years. My mind blanked. I don’t know exactly what I saw, but I knew he wasn’t there with me. He wasn’t in my future five years from now, and it hurt because I still couldn’t bring myself to think of life without him, and I certainly wasn’t ready to make the move.

I had two big reasons that were holding me back from leaving. One, I was worried that I couldn’t figure out my life without him, and being alone was scary. Two, I believed I was a bad person if I left him when he wasn’t feeling strong about himself.

I was exhausted by the constrictions I felt that were living within me. There was a growing hunger within for spontaneity, laughter and adventure. I yearned for romance and space to move around in. I could no longer ignore the urge for freedom... my freedom, a freedom I was born with and had chosen to deny.

The next year and a half was long, as I invested most of my energy in trying to make our relationship work and scrutinizing myself. It’s hard to admit. When I finally brought up the conversation about our marriage, he said it had been weighing heavily on his mind, too.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.